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Moving forward from loss with practical tools…integrating your grief into forward growth

Starting at the age of eight years old, I lost three very important people, including my father. Those complicated grief experiences shaped my world view in a way that was difficult to share with others. For so many years it felt like I didn’t know which way was up. Everything I knew to be true in my small frame of reference was no longer valid

I felt isolated and unsupported. I felt shame around my grief, and I felt lost when I tried to navigate through the overwhelm, in a world that didn’t seem to have the time or the room to understand
Instead of being able to address the pain in a healthy manner, the anger around those losses would come out sideways and lead to making choices that did not always support my well-being.

Then during covid, my mother became ill and died a year later. I felt the pain of the past returning to cast a long, dark shadow. Therapy had helped over the years, but I found myself frozen in anticipatory grief, unable to make any longterm choices for my life. I was literally and figuratively unable to connect with anyone outside of my immediate family, as we navigated the impossible choices we faced in her daily
care.
It was around this time that I realized I had to pull deep from within for resources and tools to help me cope. I viewed every new day as an opportunity to prepare myself for the realities of this inevitable loss.

And I began to see that the tools I’d been learning and working so hard to gather over the years started paying off.

It wasn’t one thing that made everything start to feel better; it was an entire toolchest of resources that helped ease the adjustment into another season of devastating loss. I relied on tools that helped me physically, emotionally and mentally.

I learned how to break down the overwhelm into smaller pieces that are more manageable
I practiced self-healing techniques to regulate my nervous system and keep me centered
I reflected on the relationship with my mother, and made decisions regarding how I wanted to keep her spirit with me
I learned to set better boundaries with people and situations in the outside world that didn’t hold my best interests in the same high regard that I did.

I’m a certified life coach with 20+ plus years of personal therapy, 20+ years of supporting grieving kids and adults

Everything I do comes from experience of working with others—and myself. Through lived experience, I discovered how to use the resources I spent years developing to guide me forward into a new place where I felt more peaceful about moving forward.

And now I’ve created a simple framework that I can share with you to help you learn how to integrate your losses into your life

You don’t need to ‘overcome’ it, or ‘move past it’. You don’t need “closure”. Those expectations do not honor the experience of your loss , they keep you feeling disconnected and isolated in your grief
You don’t have to leave your loved one behind. You honor your loss every day by making choices that reflect their role in your life in the present moment
You rely on your own unique experiences to find the meaning in your loss and guide your next steps toward your future self.

Learn more about how we can work together to get you the support you need.

Grief is not linear. But using the framework, we will work
together to help you recognize how much you are the expert
in your own life. We help you see how you have the skills to
address your feelings in a more linear structure, so you can

Break your overwhelm down into more bite-size pieces
Build and own your own set of tools to manage those pieces
Take steps for better self-care routines
Find ways to honor your loved one/loss that help you still feel connected to them without feeling like you have to “move on” or “get over it”
Feel more grounded, whether you seek support from others or choose to support yourself.

Why IGrieveDifferent.org